So I’ve been seeing a lot of articles floating around with titles like, “12.6 Steps To Finding God’s Choice For You.” and “73 Steps To Godly Dating.” And while these articles have some merit, I feel like they miss the point in a lot of ways. Like, is the main focus of the Christian life to find a significant other? I feel like it’s not. Jesus didn’t say, “Go and make disciples and while you are doing that, find a girlfriend.” So why are we focused so single-mindedly on this topic?
Obviously, dating is an important topic because dating leads to marriage. And everyone wants to marry well. So hear me when I say that I’m not bashing on people who are trying to date well. In fact, I commend them. Godly dating relationships are great and definitely a gift from the Lord. But they shouldn’t be our sole focus. When they become our main objective in life, things get skewed very quickly.
Jesus is the only thing on this earth that can satisfy. He is all that we could ever desire and more. But when our focus in life becomes trying to find a significant other, we’re basically telling Jesus that He isn’t good enough. We’re saying, “Jesus, you’re cool and everything but I really need a girlfriend/boyfriend to supplement you.” And therein lies the problem.
No person can ever satisfy you. No matter how awesome your significant other is, they will let you down. They will hurt you. And if you rely on them for your happiness and worth, you will be disappointed. That’s why Jesus needs to be our everything. We need to derive our worth from Him and only Him.
When your mind is focused solely on dating, not only does your relationship with God suffer, but so do your relationships with other people. You begin to see the opposite gender only as dating prospects and not as uniquely awesome human beings. I went through a phase last year when, for some reason, I became convinced that I absolutely had to have a girlfriend. So ya boy went on the hunt. Every girl I met became a potential girlfriend. Every interaction with the fairer sex was basically me trying to impress them. Long story short, I failed miserably and was still single as a Pringle. But the biggest loss from that wasn’t that I didn’t get a girlfriend. It was that I missed out on creating friendships with a lot of cool girls because I was so intent on trying to date them. And I really regret that. So don’t do that junk y’all.
So focusing solely on dating can not only mess up your relationship with God but it also can mess up your relationships with other people. So instead of trying to follow 43 Ways To Be Dateable, why not let God transform you into the person He created you to be? Why not craft solid relationships with cool people that you will cherish for years to come? I promise the whole relationship thing will come. So chillax y’all. Let God worry about that stuff.
S/o to my awesome roommate Mark for the idea for this article tho.