Ahh yes. The dreaded V-Day approacheth. Valentine’s Day. Or as lame people say, “Single Awareness Day”. This time of the year, being single is super awkward. You have conversations that go like this:
“…and then we’re going on a romantic dinner. What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?”
“umm yeah, Netflix.”
“Oh. That sounds…fun.”
* awkwardly moonwalks away.*
The attitude that being single is something “bad” or something to be pitied has become more and more prevalent. This is true even in the Church. When people find out you’re single, they look at you sympathetically and say things like:
“Maybe the Lord has given you the gift of singleness haha jk :)”
Yeah, and maybe the Lord has given you the gift of not being funny.
“It’ll happen when you’re not looking for it.”
So I’m supposed to concentrate on not looking for a relationship for the purpose of getting in a relationship. Seems legit.
“Paul was single.”
My name is not Paul. It is Zach.
“You just need to pray about it.”
omg srsly why didn’t I think of that?
But in all seriousness, there seems to be a stigma associated with being single. And I don’t like it. Being single doesn’t mean you’re somehow flawed or incomplete. It just means that singleness is where God has you right now. There is so much more to life than being with someone.
Now you could just brush me off as being a bitter single dude who hates all relationships. False. I’d like to have a girlfriend as much as the next guy. (Seriously ladies, holla at ya boy.) But I don’t view my singleness as a barren wasteland to be escaped as quickly as possible. I view it as a time to learn and to grow. Andy Stanley once said, “Become the person who the person you’re looking for is looking for.” In large part, I think that’s what singleness is about.
Everyone has a list of qualities that they want their significant other to possess. I know I do. Any girl I date has to love Jesus as well as being kind, gracious and loving. I’m looking for a girl who has a sense of humor, a great personality, and is easy to talk to. I could go on but you get the picture.
So I have a list of qualities that I want in a significant other. You have your own. Now look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Would I attract the kind of person that has all the qualities that I listed?” And if we’re honest with ourselves, a lot of the time the answer is “Heck no.” If I’m honest, an ice-cube in hell has a better chance than I have with the kind of girl I want to date. So what can I do about that? I can strive to use my singleness to become the kind of guy that my dream girl would want to date. I want to become the person who the person I’m looking for is looking for.
So singleness isn’t a time to mope around and be sad. It’s also not a season to be escaped ASAP as possible. (10 points if you got that reference) Singleness is a time to draw closer to God and to work towards becoming the man or woman he created you to be.
Peace and blessings, y’all.