GOTCHA! All you thirsty bros who thought this post would be a cheat sheet to getting girls, sorry to disappoint. Wait, no I’m not.
I feel like Valentine’s Day made a lot of y’all realize that you actually want a girlfriend. And then you were like, “But how do I accomplish such a feat?” At least, I’m assuming that’s what you were thinking because you’re reading this post. So here are 5 hints on how to get an awesome girl.
1. Make your relationship with God a priority.
This is the most important step. If you read nothing else in this post, read this. Your relationship with God is the most important aspect of your life. The rest of your life flows out of this relationship. If your relationship with God is on point, you will have discernment and wisdom in all areas in your life, including dating. I’m not telling you to use God as a means to an end. Growing closer to God helps your life in infinitely more ways than just getting a girl. If you can’t be content in him without a girlfriend, you won’t be content when you get one. So get your relationship with God right before worrying about your relationship with a girl.
2. Don’t be a player
Just don’t. No one likes that guy. If you ever have to hide the fact that you’re flirting with a girl from another girl, you’re probably being “that guy”. Seriously. Don’t do that junk. I’m not saying that after you say two words to a girl, you can’t talk to any other girl. But once you’ve started making advances on one girl, don’t try to holla at another. You know where that line in the sand is, but just to make it easy for ya: If you have to start rationalizing your activity, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
3. Be intentional
For some reason, it’s become the norm for a dude to keep the girl guessing. Like the dude will flirt and text and grab coffee with a girl but will never make his intentions clear. Like if you ask the girl, she’ll say, “I guess we’re dating? Maybe?” And the dude will say, “Uhhh we’re sorta kinda in the process of maybe possibly dating.” Fellas, if someone asks if you’re dating a certain girl, that’s a yes-or-no question. There’s not much room for ambiguity there. Be intentional. If you’re interested in her, tell her so. If you want to get more serious with your relationship, tell her. If you don’t see the relationship going any further, tell her. I think you can see the pattern here. Be intentional in every stage of the relationship.
4. Be a gentleman
Chivalry is only dead if we let it die. Don’t let it. Be a gentleman. Open doors for her. Offer her your seat on the bus. Little things like that. Quick poll: Raise your hand if you’ve gone a first date. Keep them up if you didn’t pay for her. All y’all with your hands still up just got an internet slap in the face. PAY FOR THE FREAKIN’ DATE, YOU SCRUB. If you asked her, then you should pay. That’s just my humble-yet-highly-accurate opinion.
Treat her with honor. If she doesn’t feel safe when she’s with you, then you’re doing it wrong. Be a gentleman, you guys. Not saying you have to like, write her poetry and be all weird and stuff, but do everything in your power to make her feel valued.
5. Actually ask her on a date
I’ve had way too many conversations that went like this:
“Yeah dude, she’s awesome. She’s has a great personality and is super cute!”
“Sweet! You should totally ask her out.”
“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.”
If I could pull a Marty McFly and go back in time, I’d say to myself, “OMG YOU SCRUB. ASK HER OUT.” I’m just as guilty of being afraid to ask a girl out as anybody. I’ll be attracted to a girl and think, “She’s really cool. I would love to go on a date with her”. But that’s as far as I get. I never get up the courage to ask her out. That’s super lame, y’all. A huge reason we don’t ask girls out is fear of rejection. No one likes getting shot down. I totally get that. But as men, we need to get over ourselves, head to the nearest Academy Sports, pick up a pair of balls, and ask her out. For real, y’all.
And when you ask her out, remember Step 3 and be intentional. ASK HER IN PERSON. Ladies reading this, if a dude asks you out via text, Facebook message, Skype, AIM, Myspace, Twitter DM, carrier pigeon or smoke signals, reject his butt immediately. Seriously fellas, man up and ask her in person. And when you ask her, be intentional and specific. Make your intentions crystal clear so there’s no guesswork needed on her part.
Well fellas, there are my five steps. You’re welcome. I’m not saying that following these steps will automatically make that girl in your lab group fall for you. These steps aren’t magical. But hopefully, they give some pointers on how to interact with the fairer sex in a way that honors both God and ladies everywhere.